Saturday, February 14, 2009

Warning: Contains explicit language...

I wrote a story this week that, for some odd reason, ended up on the Yahoo home page and got more than 4 million hits. [EDITED TO ADD: I just learned it was Farked, too. Oy.]

I didn't know this, because none of my stories have ever gotten 4 million hits, but 4 million hits translates to several hundred e-mails. And several hundred e-mails means at least a dozen total kooks.

You know, I forget that most people have no idea of the kind of e-mails I deal with on a daily basis -- neither the quantity nor the delightful quality of the correspondence. There must be something about pounding out an angry e-mail to a reporter that makes people feel better about themselves, because they do it all the time. (If you're familiar with Opinion Line or the comment boards at, you know the types of delightful correspondence I'm talking about.)

So a couple days ago, I wrote the little story about the East High kid who caught an error on the state writing assessment. Pretty innocuous, entertaining little human interest story, right?

Not according to "UpNorthMan" (his e-mail name), one of several people who felt the need to speak out -- and how -- about my ridiculous excuse for a job. Here's the thing: I *never* respond to these sorts of folks. I usually feel like ignoring them and just letting them vent in my e-mail inbox is taking the high road, no matter how tempting a wise-crack response might be. (I often type up responses, share them with colleagues Denise or Beccy, and promptly delete them. It helps.)

But this time, I couldn't resist. I'm sharing the whole e-mail exchange here to give you just a tiny peek at my highbrow professional life. (NOTE TO MOM: You might want to hold your ears.):

Dear Writer,
Why would you waste your time writing about something as STUPID as this. Who cares if they made one mistake on a test and some dumbass kid found it. Guess what, it happens every day. We are all human, we make mistakes. Next time, why don't you try writing about something that acutally matters in the world. Ass Wipe

Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment.

Your welcome, smart-ass.
Next time you should write about something that actually matters.

Thanks again. And I believe you may have meant “YOU’RE welcome."

F*** YOU.


Gosh, I love my job sometimes.


Bets said...

Sometimes I feel like I'm in a similar e-mail war with the parents of my students! Arg! Kill 'em with kindness!

Amy D. said...

Love it. Thank for the laugh. Its grate (: when someone who's giving you the business gives you such an easy come back.

Natasha said...

Totally innocuous story. It was interesting enough. What an idiot. I love that you got to correct his grammar. I wouldn't have resisted either.

I get insane You Tube video comments and the ones that are so angry toward me, telling me what a loser I am, how deluded, etc, usually have grammatical errors. It's both funny and frustrating-- frustrating that I am confronted with such stupidity to test my patience. I like to pretend that people like that don't exist.

Candice said...

Doesn't that person have something better to do with his time than write letters to reporters who are doing their jobs?

coppercorn said...

Did you really put the smiley after correcting his grammar? heh. You're right, don't stick your hand in the crazy!

I rarely send comments to reporters either positive or negative... in fact the last time I did was last fall when I sent a note to Richard Crowson telling him how much his tribute to Damion Thomas had touched me, and he wrote me back thanking me and telling me he was being laid off! Ouch!

lkelly said...

This post made my day! And brought back memories. Oy.

Peggy said...

I think I've listened to that guy on opinion line - hah! What a jerk! I think you handled it very well!

Heather rules said...

I'm just now reading this. What a jerk-off. Angry much?????

Ahs_Mommy said...

Do you think maybe he was the one that wrote the test? I mean, he seems to have taken it sort of personal.